Another realization

It was a nice, sunny Easter Monday so Will called in sick and we took the boys to the zoo. Let me just clarify, I don't do zoos. I do not like the smell of animals and animal poop. I don't like animals that have grey feathers or fur or green slimy skins on them. Which pretty much sums up the whole zoo. Well, maybe except for the zebras, leopards or crocodiles. That I like. Preferably in a size 8 ballet flats or maybe a tote or a belt? I kid, I kid! But I decided to take them because I am a good mommy and that's what we do. We sacrifice our own fears for our childrens' needs. Actually Will might say that it's because I need to bribe them so that I can go shopping afterwards and I would have leverage when they whine. But don't listen to him, what does he know about the sacrifices us moms make? But it did make shopping easier for me that afternoon.

I learned an important thing that day. It was an eye-opening experience. I've learned that I am not that kind of mom.

Let me clarify:

that kind of mom: they all had backpacks with snacks, change of clothes, juice boxes and first aid kit.
me:

I had my Hello Kitty mirror, air freshner (just in case the kids poop or fart and we need to "freshen" the air), Hello Kitty nail cutter, gum (another good thing to bribe the kids with), Hello Kitty pill box (I bring Advil with me because Will gets headaches when we are at malls. I would like to come prepared!) and a cute bottle of perfume, just because the bottle is so cute!

that kind of mom: Their kids smelled like sunscreen.
me: I would've put sunscreen on the boys except that the bottle we have at home expired two years ago.

that kind of mom: They wore sensible clothes. You know jeans, hoodie and birkinstock sandals, some wore runners.
me: I wore white and flip flops



that kind of mom: They fed their kids veggie sticks, cheese and crackers and water.
me: We had A&W that day. Grandma burger, onion rings, fries and rootbeer to be exact. Almost wanted to high five the other Asian family sitting close to us in the picnic area eating McDonalds!

that kind of mom: They looked at each cage and read all the animal description with their kids.
me:

Yup, that's me sitting on the bench playing with my itouch. Not really sure where the kids were at this point. On the plus side, I am now on the assistant manager level on my SkyBurger game!

It made me feel bad about my parenting skills for a second. I got over it really quick though because I know I am a good mom. My kids might eat candy and junk food once in a while, they might start to throw temper tantrums, they might whine and complain when I ask them to do their chores, they might sometimes watch TV all day instead of playing outside, but they are happy and healthy, they are respectful, loving and well behaved, and most of all they are MY kids!

The Ugly Truth

Can I just be serious for a minute? When I first started toying with the notion of having a blog, it was mainly an outlet for me. Something that can pre-occupy my mind, something to look forward to, something for me that's me. I decided early on that I would make it light-hearted, no matter how sad, annoyed, excited, frustrated I may be. Well, that's not going to be the case today. Today would be a pour my heat out, tears running down my cheeks, snot dripping off my nose, ugly cry kind of post.

Kinda like this...


I HATE not being able to get pregnant. I hate feeling disappointed month after month. I hate the feeling of resentment, bitterness and jealousy I get when I see pregnant women. I want to wipe off their smug smiles while they rub their tummies gloating. I want to get a needle and pop their pregnant bellies.

Oh no you didn't just go there. Yup, I did. I went there.

The thing is, I HATE feeling this way. Some days it's harder to tell myself that tomorrow would be a better day. I'm tired of falling and getting back up. Sometimes I just want to lie there til somebody runs me over.



Okay maybe I don't really do the cry your heart out routine. I tried though.

One day soon, we'll get pregnant. It'll be our turn. But in the meantime, let me wallow in pure shallow, materialistic happiness and self-pity.

Now off to Holt Renfrew I go to BUY some happiness. Haha!

The people of facebook

Ah, facebook. What would I ever do without you? How would I be able to spy casually check my ex boyfriends' profiles, be on top of the latest news or stalk my friends' pictures? Eyelahvittt!! It's like legalalized snooping. It makes me feel special, like people are actually interested in my status updates. Which made me think about the people of facebook There are many kinds out there. And here they are:

THE DRAMA QUEEN

EVERYTHING that could possibly happen happened to them but always a hundred times better or worse.

"OMG!!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!OMG!!!!!!!! I was just rushed to the hospital because I had a paper cut and doctors just found out I had Scarlett fever!!!!!!!!"

THE INFORMER

You know the one that posts their every move.

"woke up, check"
"brushed my teeth, check"
"dishes, check"
"vacuuming, check"
"watching TV, check"
"laundry, check"
"dinner, check"
"pooping, check" (updated via iphone)

THE HARDCORE FACEBOOKER

The one who comments on everybody's status, "likes" everybody's comments and joins every group and pages there are.

THE EMOTIONAL FACBOOKER

You know their posts were written while listening to Celine Dion's All By Myself



THE BRAGGER

The one that posts everything she has.

Case in point...haha! What? I'm just proud of my stuff.


So there, now that you know the people of facebook, which one are you?

Me? I'm all of the above!

day from hell

OH.MY.GOD.

Today should've been a happy, happy, joy, joy kind of day. After all, it's my son's 10th birthday.

But it wasn't.

I might have crammed a little too much activities in one day: lunch at Bonanza, science center and West Edmonton waterpark. The waterpark closes at 7pm and we got there at 5:15 pm. I thought, no problem, an hour and forty five minutes should be just enough time to tire the kids out to enjoy swimming.

But this is what happened.

1. We parked on the wrong side of West Edmonton Mall. For those who haven't been there, they have 58 entrances. We couldn't have parked further from the waterpark entrance if we tried. I thought, that's okay, we still have an hour and forty five. Nope. Know what irritates me at malls? When people walk in a row blocking the whole aisle. And they don't walk fast either. I'm normally a patient person when it comes to stuff like this. The mall is my happy place, after all. But today, I might have yelled patiently said, "For the love of God, MOVE!" And they did..

2. Never again would I buy shoes for $6.00. There's a reason why there were a shit load of them on clearance. About halfway to the waterpark was when I decided to hurl them across the mall. Okay I didn't but I almost did. The back of my ankles are raw. I would've taken a picture of it to show you but I didn't want to gross you out. Okay I do, why should I suffer alone? But I just couldn't walk to get the camera right now, my feet still hurts. But despite the agony, we made it to the waterpark at 5:30pm. Yes, we "power walked" for 15 minutes. That's how big this mall is.

3. And since men just couldn't multitask the way mothers can, I decided to take Zach with me to the ladies room while Will takes Kyle and his friend with him to the mens change room. Oh, did I forget to mention we took one of Kyle's friend with us? Know what they say about girls talking too much? Well boys do too. In fact, they literally DID NOT STOP TALKING for twelve hours.
So anyways, guess whose bag I ended up taking with me to the change room. I wanted to rip my clothes off "incredible hulk" style when I realized I had taken Will's swim pants instead. I could just imagine how much more embarassing it was for him taking out a bikini. ***snicker*** So it probably took another 10 minutes looking for each other so we could trade bags.

4. Finally, around quarter to, we were in the water. It was nice. The water was warm, there was a gentle wave, the kids were happy...

Until the lifeguards kicked everybody out of the water at 6:00pm as there was an "accident". No, nobody drowned or got hurt. It's that kind of "accident". Kind of like the "accident" Zach had a few minutes later. But I will get to that part in a bit here. They had to shut down the pool area because it was contaminated. At this point, I'm seething. Are you kidding me? We paid $120.00 so we can "wade" in the kiddie pool for an hour? But that's not the best part...

5. Zach had an accident in his pants. Enough said. I'm just glad he wasn't anywhere near the water at the time. I'm pretty sure he doesn't appreciate me telling this to everyone. But tough shit!***snicker***

So here I am now, in the comfort of my own home. A bottle glass of wine in my hand. The only consolation that I have (and the only one that I need) is when the kids said "we had the bestest time ever" before they fell asleep.

My favorite things...

I'm feeling like Oprah. No, I'm not giving away stuff, how I wish. Maybe when I win the lottery... I just want to share my favorite things (cause you never know, my husband reads my blog, might give him some ideas on what to get me for my birthday and Mother's Day)


PRETTY BALLERINAS www.prettyballerinas.com

They have so many cute styles and designs. These are my favorites. You know me, I'm a girly-girl!







THOMAS SABO CHARMS www.thomassabo.com

I remember my mom had one very similar when I was in college,
it was gold and heavy.

How cute are these?!? What a great way to celebrate special occasions.







DIANE VON FURSTENBERG STEPAHNIE BAG

Okay, maybe this isn't so new anymore but I just watched "The Back-Up Plan" and I fell in love with this. Besides, anything that J.Lo has, I love...







CUPCAKES!!! and not just any cupcake, Karen's Cake in a Cup cupcakes (yup, my cupcakes!). What? It's my blog. Besides, it's free advertising.
How can you resist this?





And lastly, the greatest (and cheapest) stress-reliever ever!!!
BAREFOOT SWEET RED WINE



I like my wine sweet and not dry. These are awesome and at less than $10.00 a bottle, how can you not drink a bottle a day?!? What can i say, I'm a cheap drunk! HAHA!

happy wife, happy life...

So the other day, Will and I were watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother, oh so hilarious!!! You should watch it.

This part is quite funny...but I thought, man that could be annoying!



And that got me thinking about Will and I, so let me tell you about us...

We have NOTHING in common.

He is more like a steak dinner,


and I am more this...



He's into Metallica,


and I am more into Glee.



He is a 1970 Monte Carlo SS

(image from www.motorbase.com)

and I am more a 2012 Porsche Cayenne Turbo S.




When Will and I fight, we FIGHT. Well actually, I fight. I am more a yeller and he "listens". It irritates me how he doesn't put things back where it's supposed to go, or leaves his dirty laundry on the floor, or how he always wants to just stay home and "chill" on the weekends. And it annoys him that I whine too much sometimes, or that I nag a lot (Yes, ladies and gentelemen. I am a nagger), or that I often want to go somewhere on the weekends.



Will is passive and I am aggressive. He usually needs a shove a gentle push, to accomplish more than what he's capable of. And as for me, what I want, I get. I charge into everything with the idea of if other people can, why can't I.



But let me tell you about Will and I...

We talk about anything and everything and our day won't be complete without having to listen to each other's thoughts and feelings.

We have not once, in the 11 years we've been together, slept mad at each other.

We have made every decision with the other person's opinion in mind and we try to accomplish everything with a common goal.



And I realized, we are Marshall and Lily, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

You can now bring out the barf bag.

You know you live in a small town when...

I've been thinking a lot about how my life has changed so much in the last couple of years and it might sound unbelievable to those who know me the most, but I love living the country life. There was probably some betting that went on before I left Calgary on how long I'd last in Minburn. They gave me 6 months! In fact, this is what my sister said:

Me: I enjoy living in the country!
Sister: Hell must've frozen over.

Well, I proved them all wrong. I think it's the best decision we've made as a family. What brought on all this thinking, you might ask? This...

You know you live in a small town when:
-The town newspaper is published monthly
-The town is named after everyone's distant relative.
-There's no hospital-only a first aid kit
-For fun on Saturday nights, people drive up and down main street.
-There's no bank... as soon as someone gets enough money, they leave.
-The only traffic jams are caused when a farmer drives down Main Street on his combine.
-The local phone book has only one yellow page.
-Hardware, Dry Goods, Grocery, Clothing and farm supplies are all sold at the same store.
-Third Street is on the edge of town
-No social events are scheduled when the school gym floor is being varnished.
-You call a wrong number and they supply you with the correct one.
-Everyone knows all the news before it's published.People read the paper to see whether the publisher got the facts right.
-The city limits signs are both on the same post.
-The only road crossing Main Street is a dirt road.
-The one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both direction
-You were in 4-H.
-You know what 4-H is.
-You said the 'f' word and your parents knew within the hour.
-It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawnmower.
-You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.
-You don't give directions by street names or directions by references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field).
-You give directions using "the" stop light as a reference.
-The country club golf course had only 9 holes.

(haha! I just had to take a picture of that!)
-You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people"
-The city council meets at the coffee shop.
-The closest McDonald's is 45 miles away.
-So is the closest mall.
-Weekend excitement involves a trip to a Wal-Mart.


I love it here, I really do. I find that the people are friendlier, the air is fresher, the grass is greener.

I'm high tech now!

A couple of months ago, I bought an Itouch. For those who know me, I'm not really into electronics. I'd rather buy this




or this




or this




you get what I mean. Anyways, I had a Staples gift card and since they don't sell those above mentioned stuff that I'd rather have, I bought an Itouch.

Eyelahvitttt!!! It is the best thing ever.

I downloaded this game called Slingo Supreme. It is Vegas in a little box. It is so addicting. I played this game non-stop for weeks and was quite proud that I got the highest score of 3,419,250 until Will decided to "give it a try" and got this...




98,577,388! ON HIS FIRST TRY!!!

FML!

Dr. Borat at your service

So yesterday was my appointment at an obstetrician. Let me tell you what he said (well, what I THINK he said anyways. You see my doctor is Borat. No, not THE Borat, he just talks so much like him. He's an awesome doctor though. I have to say this just in case he reads my blog. haha! But really, awesome doctor!) Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, what the doctor said. Let me say though that I am so glad that Will came with me to my doctor's appointment. Not only for support and strength but because I really badly needed somebody to translate. Will's good with accents you must know. Yeah, what the doctor said, I have a severely scarred fallopian tube from my appendicitis and ectopic pregnancy. So I have 3 options:

1. They will fill me with dye to try and see if there's blockage in my tubes which could be caused by the scarring, and if so they will try and flush my tubes to remove blockage.

2. They will do another laparoscopy (This would be my third. Too bad my hospital does not have a frequent customer card)to see what's going on. Will says he can now play connect-the-dots with all my incisions.

And the third option:
3. He says "If those two options fail, don't worry. It's not the end of the world. We can do IVF. It ONLY starts at $10,000 to $35,000"

Anybody got an extra tube they can rent out??? On the bright side sperms and eggs are good! Yeah!!!

Forgive me Father for I have sinned...

So Will dragged me to church today. Yes, I know, my non-believer husband had to drag his Catholic born and bred wife to church today. Nope, didn't wither away with smoke coming out of me as soon as I stepped inside the church. It was nice actually, very peaceful, very calm, very friendly. I needed it today though. I needed enlightenment, I needed strength to help me get through the disappointments.

I was hoping to get answers as to why Will and I are going through this right now (just a recap for those of you who skipped through my previous posts: Miscarriage then ectopic pregnancy, then tried for almost a year, still no baby, disapponited, heartache, friends getting pregnant but not me, "Why us?" "Why us?", and so on... that just about sums it up...) Anyhoo, The thing though is, it's been a while since I've been to church. I didn't even know what to expect anymore. I kept finding myself wondering why, getting angrier and more bitter. Halfway through the service, I decided maybe it was a lost cause. I started to just think about where to have lunch after church, or what to buy at Walmart after church or maybe I should've worn something different (though I have to say I looked cute in my outfit today)

(my bargain buys: Old Navy flower cardigan $5.99, Express sequin tank $14.99, black skinny pants, CL Jo- not a bargain)

I digress... As I walked out of church after the service, I felt an even bigger sense of loneliness. Perhaps, I thought I expected too much. Or perhaps, I don't deserve it...

On Tuesday, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook: "Sometimes not getting what you want doesn't mean that you don't deserve it, it can also mean that you deserve something better."

God, I'll be waiting for that something better...

Don't pity the lucky me!

I guess this month isn't our month either. Will and I have been trying to have another baby for a while now. As some of you know, I have had 2 miscarriages within the last year. It is heartbreaking. Some days are better than the others and the other days you just try and move on. I'm 32! My ovaries are almost about to expire! It better happen this year, it just better.

This morning was one of those "I'm so down, why is this happening to me, are you punishing me, I'm so lonely, boo-hoo me" kind of days. We're allowed to have those days right? Although I have to admit, lately, those kind of days for me are more frequent than others.

Then I got to work and I found this on my whiteboard...

Sometimes, in the midst of sorrow, we forget the ones that keep and make us happy. I am the luckiest mom...

Our Valentine's Day celebration

I had the best time last night. Will took me out for dinner and dancing to celebrate Valentine's Day. We left the kids with a babysitter for the first time in years! The ride to Edmonton was so quiet, no fighting in the back, nobody whining and saying "mommy, I'm hungry" or "mommy, I have to go pee" Well, actually I whined that I was hungry and Will said he had to go pee. ; ) We went to Sawmill Banquet in Edmonton. The food was amazing. They had seafood and prime rib buffet and chocolate fondue (with Grand Marnier, Creme de menthe and Malibu coconut Rum) for dessert. I must've eaten 5000 calories but DIET was not in my vocabulary last night. There was a live band as well, the Blackboard Jungle. They were really great! Love the songs they sang. We were probably one of the few "younger" ones who stayed for the dancing. The band played songs like "Freak Out" and you should've seen the people on the dance floor move. They were probably in their 20s when that song first came out! Will and I sat a few songs, I just didn't know how to dance to "Sweet Home Alabama" you know? They finally played Katy Perry and Lady Gaga songs (Poker Face nontheless-probably for our sake) Will and I danced to that one! It's funny though, you should've seen the more "mature" ; ) dancers just stop and stare at the band not really sure about how to dance to these songs. Kinda like how we looked like when they played Shania Twain and Will and I had to two step. Anyway, it was a fun night! Great food, good music, met some new friends, got to dress up (and wear my pretty but awfully painful Louboutins)

He DANCED! and he wasn't even drunk!



They are NOT meant for walking, or dancing, or standing on. They are just meant to be on display on a shelf with spotlights. Not the most comfortable!

MY CLOSET IS DONE!!!

It is done! IT"S DONE!!!! I spent the entire day in my closet, I even missed SuperBowl! Okay, I don't really watch sports or care for football, but it sounds more dramatic that I missed SuperBowl to BE in my closet! This is my post-Christmas gift from Will. What a sweetie! Actually, I think he just really, REALLY wants to shut me up. I've been whining, I mean politely and patiently asking, for a walk-in for quite sometime now. We (and by we, I mean Will. I just want to feel included you know?) expanded my old almost non-existent closet to a 7' by 9' haven for me. Not a Mariah Carey-ish closet but it suits me perfectly. I think Will was relieved that our house is small enough that we can only build a closet this size. I mean, the bigger the closet, the more you have to fill it right?

This was day 1, as you can see, the closet was not even big enough for my stuff.



The light fixtures! Do you see the price? Do you, do you???? I almost bought all their stock because they were so cheap!




The color of the walls is orange, think Hermes orange and not Home Depot orange. I know it's hard to imagine but it works out in the end I promise! My dog Louis thinks it's his room!



THE FINISHED CLOSET!

View from the door, left wall



left wall, see my $39.00 Walmart dresser? I was so excited to get them! Will was at walmart right after they opened so he can buy these before they run out (like there's going to be a black dresser drawer shortage!!! Well, it's perfect for my closet okay!)



view from the door, right wall. The most exciting part was most of the ones we bought to decorate the closet were on sale. We were supposed to go with chocolate brown shelves but we found the white ones on clearance for 75% off. I actually like it better!



right wall






the front wall opposite from the door. The full length mirror and the vanity stool are from Walmart, the vanity mirror and the 2 bag paintings(both on sale!) from Winners



What do you think? What do you think??? I don't even want to leave my closet, I also bought a CD/IPOD player so I can listen to my Glee CDs. I'm such a geek!

Will's birthday

We celebrated Will's ??rd birthday today ; ) Didn't really do anything special but I had a sweet surprise for him. If you know my husband, he is the most patient (I say that as only a REALLY patient man could deal with me haha!) the most generous and the most loving and perfect husband a wife could ever hope for. I wanted to do something cool for him, I wanted to give him something he's been asking for, something that he would like. So, a motorcycle is definitely out and I cannot really build him his dream garage. The only "time-out" he gets to have now is when he gets to go outside and have his drink (rye and coke) Those are the only things he would actually buy for himself, not even the brand name stuff. He buys the COLA from No Frills (you know the one with the yellow label that says COLA) and the generic rye from Superstore (you know the big ass bottle of rye that says RYE. I kid you not, that's all it says is RYE) Anyway, I told him I could not afford to give him a big present (I'm a government employee you know, haha!) But what i didn't tell him is that I bought him a Crown Royal texas mickey. For my American friends, a texas mickey is a 3 L -or almost a gallon ; ) bottle of liquor. I also bought the smallest Crown Royal (it was soooo cute!) and a COLA (no way am I paying $3.00 for COKE man-it wasn't on sale at CO-OP) I wrapped the pop (again to my American friends, pop is soda) in tissue and put the pop and the small Crown Royal in the texas mickey box. So when he opened it he thought he was getting the big bottle but inside it was just the small one and the pop. Mean huh? But I left the texas mickey with a bow on it in my car and after dinner asked him to get something from the back of my car. I guess he really like him present because...

This is the Crown Royal on his birthday...




and the Crown Royal a few days later...

Zach's carnival birthday party

I had so much fun planning his birthday party. It's just too bad the weather wasn't the greatest that day and only a few kids came but they all had fun anyways!

The invitation.




The bouncy house from All About Bouncing.



The candy buffet. The kids get to choose and bag their own candy. Their parents must've loved me that day, "Here's your sugar-induced, hopped up and hyper kid, thanks for coming" : )




The Minburn Hall, all decorated carnival style. We had these tents from when I did summer outdoor farmer's markets. I thought it would be a good idea to make it into food and refreshments tents.



The centerpiece. I inflated 20 balloons in half an hour. Will got home from work and saw me sitting by the dining table, with hands on my chest. I thought I ran out of air, my chest hurt so much. I shouldn't have cheaped out on the air pump they sell at the dollar store!



The food table. We had nachos, mini corndogs and hotdogs. A healthy well-balanced meal! : )



The refreshments table. We had lemonade and Chubby cola (now with 25 % less sugar!) and a POPCORN MACHINE!!! I finally got one from Kijiji.




The games and prizes.

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The cake. It's supposed to be a roller coaster cake but I only had a few hours to make it so...yeah.