The Ugly Truth

Can I just be serious for a minute? When I first started toying with the notion of having a blog, it was mainly an outlet for me. Something that can pre-occupy my mind, something to look forward to, something for me that's me. I decided early on that I would make it light-hearted, no matter how sad, annoyed, excited, frustrated I may be. Well, that's not going to be the case today. Today would be a pour my heat out, tears running down my cheeks, snot dripping off my nose, ugly cry kind of post.

Kinda like this...


I HATE not being able to get pregnant. I hate feeling disappointed month after month. I hate the feeling of resentment, bitterness and jealousy I get when I see pregnant women. I want to wipe off their smug smiles while they rub their tummies gloating. I want to get a needle and pop their pregnant bellies.

Oh no you didn't just go there. Yup, I did. I went there.

The thing is, I HATE feeling this way. Some days it's harder to tell myself that tomorrow would be a better day. I'm tired of falling and getting back up. Sometimes I just want to lie there til somebody runs me over.



Okay maybe I don't really do the cry your heart out routine. I tried though.

One day soon, we'll get pregnant. It'll be our turn. But in the meantime, let me wallow in pure shallow, materialistic happiness and self-pity.

Now off to Holt Renfrew I go to BUY some happiness. Haha!